Read With Mother

Albert paced in the waiting room, back and forth, back and forth.
Finally a nurse approached him. “Congratulations Mr Ecklestone. You have a beautiful baby boy.”
Albert smiled widely. Six children, he thought, I’ve had six children with my lovely wife. He couldn’t get over it.
Later that night he called his wife “Mother of six” proudly. He never used her name again.

A little over twenty years later, Albert and “Mother of six” were going out to a fancy restaurant to celebrate their anniversary.
“Hurry up, mother of six,” said Albert, “or we’ll miss our reservations.”
His wife sighed, not for the first time.

After dessert Albert asked for the bill.
When the waiter finally brought it, Albert was shocked at the price.
“Bloomin’ ‘ell mother of six. You’ve eaten loads.” he cried out.
His wife, humiliated for the final time, replied loudly; “Not as much as you, father of four!”