Alf had been a milkman for thirty eight years, and it was his last day before retirement. He went on his usual round as was pleasantly surprised to find many of his regular customers had heard of his retirement and gotten gifts for him.
At the very first house he visited the entire family were waiting on the doorstep. The husband shook Alf’s hand and gave him an envelope stuffed with cash.
At the next house Alf was presented with a box of the finest cigars. The next house gave him a case of the finest cognac. As Alf went through his round he collected gifts all over the place.
At the final house he was shocked to find a young blonde woman, wearing nothing but a skimpy negligee, waiting for him. She invited him in, took him up to the bedroom and made love to him. Then they showered together silently and she led him downstairs and made him a gigantic breakfast.
As she poured him his second cup of coffee she slid a dollar bill towards him. “What’s this for?” Alf asked, finally finding his voice. “Well, it was my husband’s idea. When I asked him what we should get you for your retirement, he said ‘Screw him, give him a dollar.’ The breakfast was my idea though.”