I remember the first time I went to get an eye test. I’d been getting pretty bad headaches and a friend said I might need glasses. I was terrified. Glasses? How uncool can you get? Funny that. I’ve always found women in glasses to be attractive, yet I’m worried I won’t look cool in them myself. Stupid bloody kid.
I remember arriving at Boots opticians and being ushered into the testing area full of equipment that had obviously been designed to drill into the actual eye, or remove it. I looked up, down, right and left. I told the woman what was blurry and what was clear. It was a very thorough test. It must have been because the woman announced at the end that I had funny shaped balls and needed glasses to help me with my headaches.
The embarrassment was obvious on my face. She led me to the selection on the wall and helped me find a pair that suited my face. That night I went home and watched Men Behaving Badly. It was the episode where Tony gets glasses and nobody can stop laughing at him. Not good.
Two days later I picked up glasses and decided to try them out at work the next night. I suppose I was reasoning with myself that if they couldn’t stand up to the rigours of barwork, I couldn’t wear them. I was probably hoping they wouldn’t.
That night, nineteen women gave me their phone numbers.
Today I went for another eye test. The machines still looked scary. I’ve still got funny shaped balls. They told me my eyes have gotten worse and that I’m now short sighted. I’ve got some new glasses coming next week. This time around I’m not stupid enough to be scared to wear them though. I know I look good in them and the only embarrassment I have is how I reacted the first time.