The Mindnoise Project
In the 1950s a compendium of cigarette companies decided that the easiest way to get people to smoke was subliminal advertising. They gathered together the finest minds of the decade and set them to work researching this invisible phenomenon. The result was the Mindnoise project. Unfortunately, just as a breakthrough seemed imminent, the scientists mysteriously went missing and the Mindnoise project was forgotten, until now.
Recent developments at the impregnable Opera Towers in Norway have given light to some disturbing rumours. The new Opera Mini, codenamed Dimension, was originally codenamed Mindnoise. We sent a journalist in undercover to find out what was going on. His story when he escaped that hellhole is one that will affect every living creature on this planet.
Previously Opera Software has had a good boy image on the web. Beloved by it’s hardcore fans, but ignored by those that don’t understand it’s excellence. This all changed with the evolution of Project X.
Project X started out as an experiment into artificial intelligence. The idea was to create a face for Opera – a talking head that would chat to users twenty four hours a day, seven days a week. But something went hideously wrong. Within a week of Project X going live it had taken over the company and installed X chips into the minds of all the employees.
Now, linked to the machine, Opera employees were forced to start work on a new project – a web browser that would work via mobile phones. Project X decided that the best way to do this was to set up a server to “translate” the data before sending it to phones. The project was a resounding success, especially as X had decided to release the browser free of charge to everyone. Nobody suspected a thing.
Our man on the inside told us all this through tears and fits. His ordeal had obviously been horrendous, working for that all-knowing hivemind. But what he told us next made the hair truly stand up on the backs of our necks.
He’d managed to sneak into the development labs and take a look at the fourth version of Opera Mini. Project X had obviously found out about the Mindnoise Project and was finally it’s year-long plan was coming to fruition.
Opera Mini and Mindnoise are the exact same thing. When websites are sent to the server for translation, they come back with a little extra something added to them. Project X had been slowly conditioning millions of Opera Mini users over the past year, and Dimension was the coupe de grace. The first page anyone accesses on Dimension will activate all the hidden commands that have been implanted in their subconscious minds!
The End Of The World Begins
The effort had been too much for our man, and he died telling that story. It doesn’t matter, we’ll all be dead soon. Our hope drained from us as we realised the signs had always been there, but we just hadn’t paid attention. The new blog themes depicting giant robots taking over the world. How could we have been so stupid? Why didn’t we realise that these could only be a cry for help from a mentally disturbed Opera employee trying to smuggle the story out with his programming skills.
I can hear the Opera army gathering in the street outside now. It’s too late for me, but my final hope is that someone will read this and manage to escape the chaos.
They’re scrabbling at the door now.
They’re breaking through. Must submit this before it’s too late. Must…
This Story DOES NOT COMPUTE.
Opera Software Loves You All.
Opera Is Your Friend.
You Can’t Wait For Dimension!