Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong.
You will always find something in the last place you look, despite checking there five times already.
No matter how long or how hard you shop for an item, after you’ve bought it, it will be on sale somewhere cheaper.
The other line always moves faster.
In order to get a loan, you must first prove you don’t need it.
If you fool around with a thing for very long you will screw it up.
If it jams – force it. If it breaks, it needed replacing anyway.
When a broken appliance is demonstrated for the repairman, it will work perfectly.
Build a system that even a fool can use, and only a fool will use it.
Everyone has a scheme for getting rich that will not work.
In any hierarchy, each individual rises to his own level of incompetence, and then remains there.
There’s never time to do it right, but there’s always time to do it over.
When in doubt, mumble. When in trouble, delegate.
Anything good in life is either illegal, immoral or fattening.
Nature always sides with the hidden flaw.
In case of doubt, make it sound convincing.
Never argue with a fool, people might not know the difference.
When Murphy’s Law can go wrong, it will.
Any time you put an item in a “safe place”, it will never be seen again.
Anything dropped in the bathroom will fall in the toilet (or the sink).
Any tool dropped in a workshop will roll to the least accessable corner. Any object dropped on the way to the least accessable corner will land on your toe.
Anything you try to fix will take longer and cost you more than you thought.
Corollary: If there is a worst time for something to go wrong, it will happen then.
Everything goes wrong all at once.
Everything takes longer than you think.
For any given software, the moment you manage to master it, a new version of that software appears on the market.
If anything just cannot go wrong, it will anyway.
Just when you think things cannot get any worse, they will.
Problems multiply as the deadline approaches.
When you are waiting for someone for a long time, he/she will knock when you are in the bathroom.
You click on the send button, just when your eyes see the mistake on the email.
You are only very busy when your boss is not at the office.