Heckler

Another great comedy moment here, yet again from the legend that is Bill Hicks. That guy was a freaking genius. He faced several complaints of anti-semetic behaviour thanks to the way he dealt with this heckler back in 1989. Personally I can see that his problem was more with humanity itself rather than Jews, but I guess some people are over-sensitive.

***crowdmember yells out “Freebird”***

Please quit yelling that. It’s not funny, it’s not clever; it’s stupid, it’s repetitive. Why the fuck would you continue to yell that? I’m serious.

***crowdmember yells out “Kevin Matthews”***

Okay, Kevin Matthews. What does that mean now? Now what does it mean? I understand where it comes from, so do you. Now what does it all mean? What is the culmination of yelling that?

***crowdmember yells out “Jimmy Shorts”***

Jimmy Shorts. He’s not here. He’s not gonna be here, now what? Now where are we? We’re here with you interrupting me again, you fucking idiot! That’s … you see where we’re at? We’re here at the same point again, where you, the fucking peon masses, can once again ruin anyone who tries to do anything because you don’t know how to do it on your own! That’s where we’re fucking at! Once again, the useless wastes of fucking flesh that has ruined everything good in this goddamn world! That’s where we’re at! Hitler had the right idea, he was just an underachiever! Kill ’em all, Adolf, all of ’em! Jew, Mexican, American, white, kill ’em all! Start over, the experiment didn’t work! Rain forty days, please fucking rain to wash these turds off my fucking life! Wash these human wastes of flesh and bone off this planet! I pray to you, God, to kill these fucking people!

***crowdmember yells out “Freebird” again***

Freebird. And in the beginning there was the word “Freebird” and “Freebird” would be yelled throughout the centuries. “Freebird”, the mantra of the moron! “Freebird”, “Freebird”, “Freebird”, “Freebird”. If we keep yelling this, one day we’ll be funny. Keep doing it. “Freebird”, “Freebird”, “Freebird”, “Freebird”. We will sit at the feet of Kevin Matthews. “Freebird”, “Freebird”, “Freebird”.

***audience joins in chanting***

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