Death Of A Sasquatch

In a press conference at the Cabana Hotel in Palo Alto today at noon, Matthew Whitton (a Georgia police officer) and Rick Dyer (a former prison guard) will be presenting the world with photographs of a body as well as DNA evidence claiming to prove what the body is of. Why would they need to provide DNA? Well, they're presenting the world with the body of Bigfoot. The corpse (pictured here) was found in the woods of northern Georgia and has been authenticated by Tom Biscardi, a local politician and Bigfoot researcher (bet you never thought those two jobs would go together) who has spent 37 years hunting for proof of Bigfoot's existance. At the press conference more photos will be shown, along with all current results of ongoing DNA testing and a video showing three living specimens walking around like humans do.

"We'll release the DNA analysis, and we'll have the body right next to the two boys. Then you can see it's real, that it's not all bullshit."

Vital statistics of the body:

  • It is seven feet and seven inches tall.
  • It is male.
  • It weighs over five hundred pounds.
  • It has two arms and two legs with five fingers on each hand and five toes on each foot.
  • The footprint is sixteen and three quarter inches long and five and three quarter inches wide at the heel.
  • The teeth are more like a human's teeth than an ape's.

The find was announced several weeks ago on an internet radio show – Squatch Detective – and the host asked if Dyer and Whitton would allow someone else to verify their find. They opted for Biscardi due to his many years hunting the beast. The next day, the show's producer contacted Biscardi and he agreed to check the body. In the time between then and now extensive scientific studies have been carried out on the body by a team of scientists including a paleontologist, a molecular biologist and an anthropologist. These will continue over the next few months with the preliminary results released today. Biscardi himself claims that his team are already preparing to capture one alive.

So what does everyone think? Real or hoax? Personally I hope it's a hoax because if this is real then the species is going to go through hell when it's revealed. The military and medical applications research alone would be worth billions. They'll be hunted to extinction or worse; bred in a lab for research purposes. A creature that's remained hidden despite becoming legendary for so long deserves better.


73 thoughts on “Death Of A Sasquatch

  1. If it is real I hope they don't capture a live ones. I think it deserves to be left alone. "was found frozen in the woods of northern Georgia" what? Cabin, house?

  2. I've heard the words 'viral marketing' associated with this. I'd say probably not real, but it'd be good (on the one hand) to see that something like that does exist (but, of course, bad for the reasons you mentioned above).

  3. Sure it's real. I was having lunch yesterday with the toothfairy and she has a friend that's dating bigfoot. The easter bunny confirmed it. πŸ™„

  4. If its real then there might be something to alot of myths which would spark a renewed interest in mythical beasts..People would flock and people would make money.. The creatures will be hunted and kept on display which I don't condone..Better hope for a hoax.. Let the animals thrive in imagination rather I'd say..

  5. In 1974 a crack team of scientists escaped from a military lab. If you need research and, if you can find them, maybe you can hire the A-Team of scientists.

  6. I'm not inclined to believe it is genuine.I like the fact that the person they call in to confirm it is someone who has been trying to track down Bigfoot for 37 years. :rolleyes:Am I the only one that thinks that the best way to confirm it is genuine would be to get a famous skeptic to confirm it?

  7. I wonder who the ' a team of scientists including a paleontologist, a molecular biologist and an anthropologist' are – if they're reputable, or just employees of something like, "Billy-Joe's House of Lab Work, Auto an' Toilet Repair!"

  8. Well to be fair the guys who discovered it run Bigfoot Hunting tours in their spare time, so they'll know about him. :left:

  9. Oh, I was wondering about where: "The corpse (pictured here) was found in the woods of northern Georgia"you know: "was found in the woods of a northern Georgia, what? House, cabin? Can't be found in a freezer in the woods. :DNevermind, I get it now. πŸ˜€ First the body was found in the woods of northern Georgia than put in someones freezer somewhere. πŸ˜€

  10. It was frozen for research but one of my sources worded it badly causing me to think it was found frozen. My draft reflected that but I edited it out before posting. Just missed one word though and gave the same impression myself. πŸ™„

  11. πŸ™‚ The wording with the photo made me think it was found in a freezer frozen in the woods. πŸ˜† πŸ˜€

  12. UPDATE – DNA tests on the creature have proved inconclusive. While the beast is closer to humans than it is any known primate, they cannot prove that this is the missing link. However, they do prove that this is not a known animal.

  13. The BBC reported today about a Yeti sighting somewhere in India. This beast was like 10 feet tall! 3 feet taller than the Georgia one. ItΒ΄s hairs are being tested. πŸ˜† sounds like a competition has started… πŸ˜†

  14. They're often mistaken in folklore. Sirens were full bodied women whose song called sailors and made them leap to their deaths in the waters. Mermaids like me are just part fish. πŸ˜€

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