I know that these "Welcome to South Africa" posts are usually Clint's domain, but when I saw this I just couldn't resist posting about it.
This clever South African guy was breaking into the East London museum when he got a surprise. Having failed to pick the lock he smashed the glass in the back door to gain entry, but for some reason the place was alarmed, and it was that moment that the alarm went off. Panicked by this, he ran into the museum yard, climbed a tree and tried to jump over the spiked fence to the neighbouring Selbourne college. The operative word there is "tried".
His jump wasn't quite good enough and he soon found that gravity can be a real pain in the arse, but not as much as the metal spikes on the fence. He was stuck there for quite a while until a passing tow truck driver heard his cries for help and alerted the authorities. The South African police eventually had to lift him off with a crane before they could arrest him and send him on to Frere hospital. At the hospital he was found to have seriously injured his rectum and intestines in the fall, causing them to operate to remove the spike and fit a colostomy bag for immediate relief. He'll be standing trial as soon as he's well enough and, if found guilty, is very well prepared for what awaits him in prison.