Polly Want A Cracker?

Tara Weston says in several newspaper articles that she was stunned when a toy parrot she’d bought for her five year old daughter let loose a string of obscenities and threats. She bought the toy for her five year old daughter Demi from The 99p Store in Holloway as a gift but says she was forced to cover Demi’s ears when the toy screamed out “I’m going to rip your head off and shit down your neck.” The manager has apologised for the mistake and removed the toy from the shelves in the children’s section of the store.

Isn’t this terrible? An unsuspecting mother buys a gift for her young child that turns out to use horrific language and death threats. I’ll just bet that most of the parents out there are sympathising with these events. Of course, the key word is “unsuspecting” as you’re about to see.

Pretty Polly
“Polly wants a fucking cracker. Give Polly a fucking cracker.”
“Who’s a pretty polly. Not you lard-arse.”
“Dickhead alert! Dickhead alert!”
“Hey you, go fuck yourself!”
All of these are clearly listed on the box of the toy as being said by it.

Meet Polly The Insulting Parrot, the toy which Tara Weston bought for her five year old daughter. Just take a look at that box for a second. The toy’s name alone should have rung some alarm bells, one would think. And if that didn’t, how about the speech bubble which clearly shows it saying “Show us your tits.”? You can’t see it here but the back of the box lists some more of the charming comments the parrot will use whenever anyone walks in front of it (see the “Pretty Polly” box on the right of this post).

Am I the only one who suspects that Tara knew exactly what she was doing when she bought that toy? Even the most ignorant parent couldn’t have missed those signs. I believe she saw it in the kids section and, instead of mentioning the mistake to staff so it could be rectified, bought it in an effort to sell her story to newspapers and magazines as well as get some compensation from the store.


45 thoughts on “Polly Want A Cracker?

  1. Who wants to buy insulting parrot to his own kid?

    You would if you saw some of the brattier ones…

  2. *shrug* So she makes a few bucks pounds, what's wrong with that? πŸ™„ :confused:Β Not only that, it'll give her liar lawyer and theirs money, the store will file an insurance claim, citing lost revenue from lost sales of Polly, the insurance company will file suit with the manufacturer, the resulting news articles and fluff pieces on tv and radio let everyone forget about the global economy tanking and swine flu… all is well.Β You need an iphone,young man… :p

  3. The photo of her shows her holding two and making her daughter cover her ears. So, she got another one after that and started making it talk in front of her daughter, just for a photo?

  4. Maybe I'm the only one cynical enough to admit it, but I would have thought the daughter would already have used some/most of the words in Polly's shocking vocabulary already. πŸ™„

  5. Very bad mother, and extremely bad parrot for a childrens toy section. Should have been in ADULT toys section.

  6. :rolleyes:Of course she should have seen all the warning signs…But seriously, who the hell would buy a parrot that screams "I'm going to rip your head off and shit down your neck" in the first place? It's not even funny. πŸ™„

  7. It usually stands on the shelf next to the 'Santa' drinks decanta and the 'strong man' doll that pee's on you when you try to pick it up. They're meant to be gag gifts for bridal showers and bachelor's parties. :yuck:.

  8. *shakes head* I vote moron and bad parent. This is the type of deal I expect some jerky relative to get a kid.

  9. :awww: Bad bad Polly… :sst: Do you know the shop manager's number? I wonder if they do delivery :left:

  10. Didn't mean to flatter you… Everyone looks young to me. Probably because I'm 81 :left:Hey… Does that mean you're 82? πŸ˜›

  11. I played a game once in Playstation… when you lose.. it goes: "Oh FUCK!"can't remember what though. My parents weren't bothered :shrugs:

  12. :sing: I don't want a tickle, I just want to ride on my motorsikkle, and I don't want a pickle, I just want to ride my motorsikkle. And I don't want to die. I just want to ride on my motor sigh cull. :happy: (with apologies to Arlo Guthrie)

  13. It would have been fun if the store put up a fight with the mother. Although I agree that it doesn't belong in the children's section, it wouldn't hurt hanging her out like in this post…

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