Rule 34

There’s an old adage about the internet called Rule 34. You wont find it in any site’s terms and conditions yet it exists. Rule 34 states that if you can think of anything then someone somewhere will have turned that thing into porn. It’s one of the fundamental rules of the universe, right up there with Sod’s Law which states that “Anything bad that can happen, will happen” yet is known as the Internet Rule because it wasn’t until the advent of the web that Rule 34 was widely accepted as being true. Rule 34 usually prefaces the statement “The internet – raping your childhood since 1994.”

Recently I decided to prove Rule 34 wrong. I searched Google Images with the safety turned off for a variety of things, all followed with the word “porn”. Fruit and vegetable names, old cartoons, Australian soap stars. Time and again Rule 34 thwarted me. Time and again, I hung my head in defeat (and also so I didn’t have to see what the Australian soap star was doing to the cartoon character with fruit and vegetables). And then it hit me, the one thing that no-one could make porn out of.

As a kid I was a huge Transformers fan. Giant robots that transformed into vehicles. Robots that have no genitals. It was perfect. Smugly grinning I typed “Transformers Porn” into Google Images and clicked the Search Images button. The smug grin disappeared off my face, quickly being replaced with absolute horror when I found this.

Is nothing sacred to you people!


59 thoughts on “Rule 34

  1. There's no way around it. It's as fundamental as the theory of general relativity. When you think something's been spared, it still exists. You're just unable to find it.Ignorance of this rule is bliss. Because this rule can't be proven wrong.*goes to check if anyone made 34 of himself* 😮

  2. You think I'm keeping that stuck in my brain? Believe me, that was one of the tame ones.:sst: You should see the Transformers movie porn ones. :cry:.*follows the Doc*Lets look up Espen too. :devil:

  3. I checked everyone who's commented here against Rule 34. Cois Porn brings up a photo of Stomyr. :insane:

  4. We found out why, remember? There's a porno girl called Zafira. 😆 That and I've been leaving search terms in toilet stall graffiti. :whistle:

  5. I have to call Dannii here :lol:Shame on you, Dennis! No one ever stays soft by my side :angel: :blush:

  6. Haahaha, good old rule 34. Without it, I wouldn't have Nike shoes porn. It's not as hot as paperbag porn, but it turns me on. Now where's my inflatable sheep? :left:

  7. Give it time … part of the rule is that if it doesn't exist, someone will make it up to safeguard rule 34 …

  8. Is no-one shocked about Stomyr being under Cois porn? There must be more going on there than I originally thought. :sherlock:

  9. Yeah, it links to a gay porn reference on Shigen's page, which they'd both visited at the time. :devil: I wonder who said the words "gay porn" there? :whistle:

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