X Day

On July 5th 1998 the world ended. Aliens known as X-ists landed and the world of normals, pinks and glorps ended, with those who weren’t immediately killed being enslaved by an army of evil clowns (known only as the Bozo Cult) who will eventually devour their souls. These were the prophesies put forwards by the satirical Church of the SubGenius when they formed in 1980, promising that members would be taken into space on the ships of Sex Goddesses, saved from these events which the SubGenii call the Rupture.

Now if you’re reading this, you’ll know that the church, formed as a parody of cults, extreme religious groups, UFO conspiracy theorists got it wrong. July 5th 1998 came and neither the X-ists nor the Sex Goddesses came down upon the planet. When the end didn’t come the Reverend Stang, leader of the church was tarred and feathered but allowed to keep his position. He has since studied the Scriptures of Bob (the holy writings that the church uses for it’s basis) and determined that they were read upside down and that the actual year of the “Rupture” will be 8661. Splinter groups have put forward other theories such as the well known fact that Earth was swapped with Mars shortly after the second world war, and that the X-ists did visit but actually visited Mars as a result.

Reverend Stang believes that X-day (as July 5th is known to all SubGenii) should be celebrated as a religious holiday by all members of the church.

If you can’t get off the planet, at least get off from work.

Happy X-day Folks
:alien:

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17 thoughts on “X Day

  1. šŸ˜† šŸ˜† Where do you find stuff like this? :faint:"and that the actual year of the "Rupture" will be 8661.":lol: This time he wanted to be sure not to be around when mob decide to tar and feather someone :lol::lol::spock:

  2. That's not Bob, blasphemer! This is the holy image of Bob.Where do I find stuff like this? In the dark and disturbing landscape of human creation. Thing is, they kind of make a lot of sense compared to other religions, with their services being rock concerts and you only counting as a true believer if you denounce the church and create your own offshoot sect.Try harder aliens. Remember, this is a religious holiday.Personally I find the idea of having read the year upside down brilliant, and no less plausible than some of the explanations I've heard from other religions for their ideas not coming to fruition. As the whole thing's basically a big joke anyway it could have ended there, but the guy kept it going, even having a crisis of faith where he declared Bob had betrayed them all and kept the aliens for himself.

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