I’m angry and I’m getting angrier. Something has happened to our local cell tower meaning that after swapping networks we now have a worse signal than we had on the old network. When it works it’s much better but for now it’s all over the place and a pain. Of course whenever I get on here people are mourning Esther by filling her page with hearts to each other and filling my watchlist with photos of someone I’m mourning too so yeah that’s just lovely and really puts me in the mood for this place. Seems like they’re moving through the posts too as every time I unsubscribe to one another pops up. It’s not the only thing that’s getting to me online, but it is the main thing that’s been building up and one of the reasons I blew my top on a forum recently and had a go at a guy trying to be friendly and make a joke.
The anger is affecting my writing too. Well I say anger but it’s more like can’t be bothered. My last two or three posts haven’t exactly been indicative of my own particular style. In fact they’re the sort of thing you could find on pretty much any news website. I’m a better writer than that, even if I don’t pull out my pen that often. I think I need to concentrate on that for a bit, putting together larger posts but less often, at least for a while. Writing is so calming and harmonic for me – the flow of words on a given subject coming to my fingertips almost rhythmically like a half remembered song that you start to sing.
And if that cliched description isn’t enough to show you how badly I need to concentrate on writing then nothing will. I think I’m going to write one or two really big posts per week and put more effort into them. That way I should be able to get back into things easily enough. Once I’ve got that back I’ll start doing my dailys as well. So bear with me while I reboot this page into something worth reading.