Do You Swear By Almighty You To Tell The Truth

It's been a bad twelve months for Jesus Christ. Not only did I reveal the face that people would actually be seeing in their vegetables if he was really appearing to them, but his idea of justice was called into question. Actually "her idea of justice" would be a more accurate term as the Jesus Christ in question is a woman from, can you guess? Yep, this falls under the category of "Only in America", Jefferson County in particular. The woman, who legally changed her name years ago, was called upon for jury duty in December, presumably by someone under the impression that if anyone is qualified to judge others then it's Jesus.

Unfortunately they didn't get the bearded son of God they were expecting, instead being faced with a 59 year old woman who didn't bring quite as many fish sandwiches as they'd heard Jesus could produce in social situations. When the woman was called forwards other jurors giggled at her name causing concern in the selection process, concern that was only raised by the woman insisting that Jesus Christ is her name and that she'll only respond to her full name. Jesus then proceeded to disrupt the jury selection process (there are some sentences that are just so much fun to type) by refusing to answer questions, instead repeatedly asking needless questions about the process herself.

Eventually the court had no choice but to dismiss Jesus Christ from the jury pool for disruptive behavior (there's another one of those sentences) and she was last seen strolling across a lake near the courthouse.


25 thoughts on “Do You Swear By Almighty You To Tell The Truth

  1. No, thank you. It's really awful :insane: you know I'm one of these people that hates crucifixes and statues of dying Jesus, so this cake is really just.. Messed up ๐Ÿ˜†

  2. If you specifically search for something on Google you can easily find it if it's happened. :up: Being willing to accept that if you can think of it then someone has probably done it is the first step. Being willing to change to a better story if you find one helps too.I had a collection of people who'd changed their names to Jesus Christ when I first started the post Tils, but the others weren't quite as interesting as this.How come Carol? Surely you've heard the story of Jesus over turning stalls in the temple? This is like that but in court and over turning questions.Poor Alex. I'm sure Jesus would exorcise you of your demons if you did that.Rose and Kim, that is indeed Jesus cake. Can I interest you girls in a mouthful of saviour?

  3. If I recall correctly, back when Jesus lived they placed market type stalls within places of worship. Jesus told of how this was wrong and had them removed.

  4. ROFL darn it this is a post to book mark and send the link to every friend that complains about his/her name ! ๐Ÿ˜† I am so glad my google searches are always innocent and never weird ๐Ÿ˜ฎ

  5. I think I'll pass, Mik… Although I bet it would be a nice change to those wafers they hand out as the body of Christ in church.

  6. Someone should tell her that he should really have been referred to as Jesus The Christ, and that calling him Jesus Christ makes as much sense as saying Elizabeth Queen II :PAnyone here ever done jury duty?

  7. I did jury duty. Three days. Couple of hundred bucks. One long-term prisoner trying to prove another long-term prisoner hit him with a rock in a sock. He couldn't prove it (though it was obvious he did it, the evidence wasn't there to prove it beyond reasonable doubt).

  8. So I guess the correctional officers just happened to all be looking the other way when it happened he? :whistle:.The stalls that Jesus overturned were the stalls of money changers (bankers) who had set up shop in the temple. Jesus made a whip out of ropes and drove them out of the temple in a rage saying, "you have turned my Father's house into a den of thieves". Anyone need the chapter and verse? :left:.

  9. P.S: Oh and if a Catholic priest blesses that cake and hands it out for communion, then it literally becomes Jesus in flesh and blood to every Catholic that devoures it! :insane:.So that may have been for a First Holy Communion celebration? :left:.

  10. Yeah. :doh: I like how someone managed to spend millions to outfit a prison with security cams, but didn't manage to figure out there were one or two places that just couldn't be seen. Of course, putting another camera or two up wasn't an option, somehow …"Hey, it's not like the prisoner's will ever find out".:p

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