It’s Not Cheating If…

Let me give you a little tip folks. If you ever want to lose your faith in humanity, or want to become a hardened cynic in a matter of seconds, all you have to do is head over to Twitter and check out the trending topics. The people who get involved in these things are usually the worst examples of humanity that you can find. Seriously, these people are the sort that Jerry Springer and reality TV shows wouldn't touch with a barge pole. They're even worse than iPhone owners as you'll see with this selection of answers from ten minutes of the "It's Not Cheating If…" topic.

@Desire5000: #itsnotcheatingif you didnt make a sound

Oh come on! Not only does this still count as cheating but, to add insult to injury, it's with someone so crap in bed that they couldn't get any sound from you. Yeah, you're so desperate you'll do anyone, wont you.

@MissK713: #ItsNotCheatingIf You don't remember it

Yep, still cheating. And really fucking tacky too. Not only are you cheating but you're so drunk/drugged up that you don't remember doing it? Can you prove that the person you cheated with didn't shit in your mouth if you don't remember it? No, and that's why you're a whore!

@MissAmandaRay: #ItsNotCheatingIf I call him your Name…. I was thinkin' bout you.

Oh, how kind of you to accidentally call out your guy's name while some other guy had his cock in you. How loving you are that you still think of your man while opening every hole to the first guy who comes along. I'm sure that's a great comfort to your man as you whore around behind his back.

@U_Follow_Me_1st: #itsnotcheatingif she paid your phone bill

You're right, it's not cheating. It's prostitution. Congratulations, you're so skanky that you not only sell sex, but you'll accept anything for it. Have you sucked off a guy for a burger yet?

@ItsTweetysWorld: #Itsnotcheatingif yall didn't fuck in the bed…

You're absolutely right. In fact, to celebrate how right you are I'm hiring the prostitute above you to fuck your own girlfriend at your grandparents house on top of the food that you'll be eating this week.

@mjhicks12: #itsnotcheatingif u only gettin head<~with a rubber or dental dam on.. if its w/o it.. It is cheating

Good idea. If you use protection or have oral sex then it's not cheating. If so then it can't be sex if you use protection or have oral sex. So, how long have you been a virgin?

@SdotGorgeous: #itsnotcheatingif she pays you.

Again with the prostitution. What is it with these Twitter guys and girls that makes them sell their asses? Is no-one that uses the site educated enough to get a real job? Maybe they shortened words on their job applications too.

@dp4stacks: #itsnotcheatingif its your friend is it? I thought that's why you introduced us! (you knew she was a hoe)

So your girlfriend has a friend who she knows is a whore and, because she introduced you, that means she wanted you to fuck her? Were you born stupid or something? Obviously your girlfriend was paranoid that her slutty friend would make a move on you and told you how bad she was to warn you. Obviously she trusted you not to be a little bitch and immediately leap into bed with the nearest disease-ridden whore or she wouldn't have introduced you. Obviously you're in serious need of a blood test right now, you pathetic little man.

@BarackObussa: #ItsNotCheatingIf i still had my reebok classics on…

It's not just cheating, it's really tacky. Seriously dude, it's time to leave the trailer.

@MrWasson: #Itsnotcheatingif I only stuck the tip in

It's still cheating but with an added bonus. Not only was the sex you gave her really shite, but she's told all her friends about the freak who was so tiny and they all laugh about you. Next time you see some girls laughing, it'll probably because they know about you.

@PaperPowerPussy: #ItsNotCheatingIf I get a blowjob its her job

And we're back to prostitution yet again, with this guy admitting that the only women he can get are those he has to pay for sex. Having seen his photo, I'm not surprised to be honest.

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18 thoughts on “It’s Not Cheating If…

  1. And the number one way to tell if it's cheating? Find out who their partner is and ask what they think of it all … I think it'd become pretty damn obvious then … even to the above half-witted, moral-less fuckabouts.

  2. I recommend reading Nick Cave's 'The Death of Bunny Munroe', if you want to indulge in the subject of sexual ethics.I sometimes look in on debates on various chat sites, mostly Danish sites, since I know my own linguistic limits. Debating can be a fine art, but I am not going to make an arse out of my self in a language that isn't my own.I guess there are some very angry people outthere who seek and find refuge in the semi-anonymity of internet chatting. I usually shake my head and ignore them. I don't pity them or in other ways empathize with them but on the theoretical level I can understand it. The problem, as I see it, is simple-mindedness and lack of self-insight.

  3. On Facebook it says 'What's on your mind?' which is why I tell what is on my mind, not what I am doing. Actually getting to know what is on people's minds can be quite educating but knowing that they've just been to aerobics class or to the hair dresser, 'and it was soo nice!!! :-))))) LOL' – who the fuck cares?

  4. It's the same with Facebook. I like Facebook, but have taken the liberty of hiding status updates from those of my friends who find it important to tell everybody what they are doing every second hour of the day. My ex-wife is like that. It would perhaps be slightly interesting to know what she was doing, if she happened to have a life of interest to anybody but herself, but I'm afraid it isn't so.

  5. I never got the point of tweeting. I mean… who gives a fuck what people do throughout the day? :confused:

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