And yea did the lunatic sayeth unto the world “Thou shalt be raptured like there’s no tomorrow, for there shall not be one.” And the lunatic did chooseth a date in the two thousandth and eleventh year, the fifth month and the twenty-first day of that month for the end of humanity.
Many of the lunatic’s followers, attempting to be closer to a God they don’t truly understand and trusting in the lunatic, did give away all of their worldly goods. Some of them tried to buy their way into heaven this way, assuming that ten dollars given to a homeless man makes up for all the times they’ve pretended to have no change-eth. :left: Others did give things away for they were true of heart and weak of mind, believing that the word of the lunatic guaranteed them a place in paradise. Verily (anyone that claims to know what this word means is lying, but it looks good at the start of sentences when speaking all olde world) were these people disappointed when the world continued to run. They turned to the lunatic and asked “Whateth noweth?” of him. “Howeth”, they asked, “are we to live our lives now that we’ve given everything away and the world didn’t end.” But the lunatic was nowhere to be found, having gone into hiding. And, despite this man causing human suffering on such a great level, the world rolled on, unaware that Cthulhu was waiting in the shadows for his time to rise.
We last saw Camping after his latest failed prediction of the Rapture, and it seems that the deities of at least one major religion are getting sick of him fucking with their people’s lives. In June he suffered a stroke but this bolt from the blue has done little to convince him that he’s ruining people’s lives. He still claims that October 21st is the official date of the Rapture and still feels nothing for all those whose lives were ruined by his own bullshit revelations. However, he’s now changed his prediction from the Rapture to the Apocalypse. The world will simply end he says, with no big bangs or struggles. No-one will be left behind due to rebelling against God and no pain will be suffered by anyone.
As nice as he’s trying to sound about it all of a sudden, he’s still talking about the end of the world. The man is clearly a super villain and needs to be stopped. And if there’s one person qualified to stop a super villain, it’s a super hero. Luckily, October 21st sees the release of Batman: Arkham City on consoles in Europe.
This long time hero will fight off the henchmen of Rapture Man and lock him away safely in Arkham Asylum. The world will be safe again and citizens can go about their lives. I’m sure at some point Rapture Man will trap Batman in some inescapable death trap and laugh as he inevitably dies, but Bats will escape at the last minute and kick his ass just like he did in all of his adventures on Sunday mornings in my childhood.
There are a lot of things in this world that will take everything you give and just ask for more if you’re willing to believe in them, but Batman isn’t one of them. In short, if you’re going to believe in anything in this world, you could do a hell of a lot worse than Adam West! 😉