Glitched

Kim and I have completely different philosophies when it comes to saving in video games. I like to rely on auto saves, only really making a manual save when I’m about to come off a game or when I know I’m in a part that can get messed up easily (via my own incompetence or glitches that have made it through quality assurance). This has resulted in occasions when I’ve lost a few hours of progress in the past, including the near-infamous incident when a power cut occurred just as I reached a save point after an hour and a half boss fight in a Final Fantasy game. That incident is known only as The Scream Heard Around The World. It’s safe to say I don’t manually save often enough. Kim, on the other hand, saves too often in games. It’s not unknown for her to pick someone’s pocket and save after each and every item stolen, which kind of explains why she has made over four hundred Skyrim saves while I’m just shy of my first century despite having racked up a hundred and thirty hours of gametime so far (with so very much still to do in the game).

In a way this reflects our playstyles and aims in the video game worlds we inhabit. I like to lose myself in the world as much as possible and inhabit the character, making decisions the character would make. Kim likes to steal the clothes from everyone in a town while they’re wearing them and leave an entire town wandering around in their underwear, which she managed somewhere around save 400 and hour 80. Bizarrely they don’t seem to have noticed the extra chill or even the fact that everyone else is nude too. I put it down to them fearing the early onset of a mental illness and trying to ignore it as much as possible. It’s the Emperor’s New Clothes, with the entire town of Whiterun cast as the Emperor. Kim also spends an amazing amount of time arranging dead bodies into sexual positions while the most I’ll do is throw an enemy’s dead comrade at them or leave a dead husband in bed with his living wife. See, I’m not above playing pranks at all; I’m just more selective of my victims. The man screaming out everyday in the town centre about worshipping his chosen deity had a poison administered to him which made him attack a guard and then I watched with glee as the entire city guard descended on him like wolves. On the subject of wolves, I’m also not averse to becoming a werewolf and using my wolfman form to chase Khajiit (humanoid cats in the game series). These are the sorts of pranks I adore as they seem to fit the character I’m playing.

Both of these approaches are equally valid ways to play Skyrim, both are fun in different ways and both are somewhat explainable within the context of the world. I suppose that’s the true power of Bethesda’s open world games – you find yourself explaining things in ways the designers may not have anticipated. For example, the religious nutcase I killed had a small following in the town and occasionally people would stop to watch him and listen. After I killed him this obviously stopped, except for one old woman who still stops to listen despite there being no-one there. This is just a slight data mishap where a certain switch hasn’t been toggled the right way, but that’s not the first explanation that leapt to mind. To me, this old woman had lived through the war thirty years ago and had lost the right to worship her chosen deity as a result. She was now living through a civil war which brought back painful memories and, as she lived alone and made no mention of living relatives, I think those memories have something to do with the loss of a child in the war. In my mind this woman took great comfort in her friends, especially those who spoke out against the loss of the god Talos. Her mind must have reeled at the news of his death, especially the bizarre way he lost control and uncharacteristically attacked people. Each time I see her stop at that shrine I know that she’s wondering why this had to happen and how much more must she lose?

And I feel guilty for her loss.

It never ceases to amaze me when a game has a complete enough world that you start filling in the few gaps yourself, almost allowing what is right to act like a get out of jail free card for what goes wrong. Arkham City is another recent example. A wonderfully created game with brilliant gameplay and one small glitch. One feature has Bats beating up groups of thugs around the city while keeping one conscious so they can be interrogated for information afterwards. Bats descends on the last man like a demon, holds him in the air by his throat and questions him… sometimes. Other times the thug is somehow removed from the game before the interrogation scene and Bats questions then knocks out thin air. I put this down to him practising, much like the infamous De Niro mirror scene in Taxi Driver. “You talkin’ to me?” Bats asks, trying to get the perfect gravelly voiced threatening tone to inspire fear when he meets real life criminals. “I don’t see anyone else here.” intones the caped and cowled Travis Bickle before punching nobody in the throat. BAM! “And now you’re asleep!” Whether he’s or this is another expression of the psychological condition that made him dress as a bat in the first place is irrelevant. This is a prime example of a game glitch that enhances the story rather than breaking it, and a phenomenon that occurs only during the better games that are released. That we’ve had two in the space of a month that can get away with glitches in this way can only be good for gamers, as it speaks to the quality of what’s out there right now and the talents of those creating it.

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29 thoughts on “Glitched

  1. Hahahaha! 😆 I am SO like Kimmie when it comes to games. If I gain any points or loot: SAVE. I don't dare take the chance of losing what I worked for.As for the placing corpses in sexual positions? 😆 That is also something I would totally do…and now wish I owned the game so I could do it as well. :pExcellent post…had me laughing my ass off!

  2. +1 :p.I'm with Kimmie but when I play a game it's usually better to get maximum playtime doing the most crap just because I can. :left: that's why you should never let me play RPG's as days can pass without me noticing.. :left: true story.. :eyes:

  3. In GTA (I don't recall the episode) I used to pile up wrecked cars outside the police department and then throw some molotows. You would not belive the amount of patrol cars that was added to the burning and exploding pile in the next five minutes. At one point the count was 34 patrol cars including armored SWAT cars. Because of a glitch no police was able to arrest or shoot me if I stayed behind some boxes, so I had plenty of time to just watch the burning cars.

  4. Weirdos? :left: You could not possibly be including me in that category! :right:Sorry if this seems like I'm trying to take over the thread here, but it sort of pertains to what Kimmie is saying. When I was a teenaged moron, my friends and I would frequent the mall as most American teens do. Well, my favorite thing to do was to swap out the male mannequin hands for the females'. So, the female mannequins had these big ol' burly hands and the male mannequins had dainty hands with painted nails. 😆 Those were the days, my friends. :oI'll shuddup and stop taking over now. :coffee:

  5. See? I'm the majority voice of saving for our weirdo friends. (so far) :pAlso fun: arranging random objects around a person/body, swapping decapitated heads with their friends' bodies.. But the lewd positions take top rank.

  6. Karen and Clint – you save way too often. :pKaren – that's a by-product of the Zelda games (which actually invented saving if I recall correctly). Anything you do in those can take hours and be wiped easily.Clint – when I first played Morrowind I played for 6 months racking up over 440 hours on the game. I've just hit save 100 on this and have just under 142 hours invested. Yeah, I get that you can be on for a long time. ;)Darko – ah, so you're the one they keep making ten hours games for. :irked: At £5 per hour, it's wy beyond my budget.Martin – there was a car salesroom in Vice City where the cops wouldn't come up the stairs to get you but would shoot from below. I re-enacted the police stand off scene in Terminator 2 from that place, taking down scores of cops and soldiers. The carnage was unimaginable and it fast became my favourite way to get rid of stress after a hard day.Kim – after that glitch kept that guy attacking me after I'd decapitated him, you can keep your decapitated heads. :insane:Karen – they do a pill that helps with such urges. :left:Clint – if "Homance" isn't the female equivalent of "Bromance" then it seriously needs to be. Awesome word. 😆

  7. In GTA my favourite stress relief was to buy as many weapons as possible and climb up a tower silo down the habour and start shooting. When the law shows up I'd keep the rifle scope fixed at the top of the ladder and just precision head shoot them one by one as they come climbing. Fun starts when the helicopters arrive, and this is where the rocket laucher comes in. Your wanted level will reach limit in a few minutes, and there is not much they can do about it. Without the help of cheats or glitches. Rock'n'roll carnage.

  8. I'd probably do what Kimmie does but it depends on the mood. :up: .(and the game)Still playing SuperTuxKart. Several challenges still to complete. And I don't ever want to play "Oliver's Math Class" again! :faint: .(I spent 5 hours a night for eight nights trying to crack that stupid challenge! :insane: )

  9. a) The old woman may be slightly psychic and the ghost of the preacher is still there, preaching away, and only she can hear him.b) For God's sake, make sure Kimmie doesn't ever get a job in a mortuary! :eyes:

  10. Originally posted by clean:

    For God's sake, make sure Kimmie doesn't ever get a job in a mortuary!

    BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA 😆 😆

  11. A stiff won't complain. I remember one evening when I REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED until the handle broke off. Imagine that. I was like WTF! It was quite fun.

  12. One of the things that took a little getting used to for me was the 'save' system in Arkham Asylum – it's entirely automatic and invisible. But I liked it after a while, because of that – left me to focus on the game itself :DI do tend to save in games a lot more than I used to. I blame Dragon Age and Fallout 3 – both were initially very unstable and liked to spontaneously reboot or lock up my PC. I also have less tolerance of repetition than I used to have, and often I find that I'm more eager to find out how the story develops than I am to clear a room of baddies. Only a handful of games (like Arkham Asylum) manage to retain the enjoyment of a good scrap when repeated. In Mass Effect 2 after a while the fights were just getting in the way of the game.

  13. Originally posted by theoddbod:

    In Mass Effect 2 after a while the fights were just getting in the way of the game.

    Sadly, 60% of players reported that the conversations were the thing in the way of the game. :irked: Hopefully Bioware ignored them and listened to my carefully prepared 300 page e-book telling them exactly how they need to make Mass Effect 3. To be fair, 293 pages are a tirade against multiplayer being shoehorned into a single player experience that doesn't really need it and one page is full frontal nude photo of me, but the other six pages are game creation gold.

  14. Heretics! :irked: If fighting's all they want, go play Serious Sam or Duke Nukem Forever.That photo is obviously going to be use in the final ME3 boss fight, when they reveal where the Reapers came from :p I believe the boss Reaper is called Leviathan :left:

  15. It felt quite fresh at the time, though – it didn't take itself too seriously, and the parachute and insane sniper zoom were great 😀

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