Christmas Dinner And Other Small Countries

Christmas is coming, the geese are getting fat.
Please put a penny in the old man’s hat.

No, if the old man wants a penny he can freaking ask for it rather than getting people to sing for it. It’s bad enough this year with all these Occupy twats sitting in the high street and asking people to provide them with food, tents and sleeping bags for their protest against poverty. Perhaps they’d do better if they weren’t wearing designer gear, constantly texting people on their high end mobiles and skiving off rather than working to get through University instead of taking a loan and complaining that they have to pay it back.

Woah, got a bit distracted there didn’t I? That’s not even the line of that song I’m trying to respond to in this. Rather the one about the goose getting fat is what caught me because it’s not the only thing that is getting fat. You may have heard about Donna Simpson in the past but, if you haven’t, there’s a small recap in italics below so feel free to read that and catch up on who is who in this story or skip them if you already know.

Donna has one aim in life – to be the fattest woman in the world. She has always been plus sized but really started to pack on the pounds when she met her first husband Robert at only nineteen years of age. A steak chef, he would work night shifts and come home with leftovers from work, inspiring many nights eating highly fatty steak and pastry meals. Her husband encouraged her weight gain and told her he preferred her that way, saying she was sexier when bigger. At twenty-seven years old and twenty-five stone (350 lbs) she fell pregnant with her eldest son, Devin who is currently fifteen.

The marriage ended shortly after her son was born and Donna turned to food for comfort. In four years she ate so much that by the time she turned thirty-one years old she weighed a massive forty-three stone. It was then that Donna decided that enough is enough and tried to lose weight. She dropped five stone in six months and was booked to have a gastric band operation that would have reduced the amount she was able to eat. Everything was going swimmingly until tragedy struck and a friend of Donna’s died while undergoing a similar operation. Donna took this as a sign and cancelled the operation, shifting her focus to eating what she wanted when she wanted.

At thirty-seven years old she discovered a website set up for fat fetishists to celebrate obese women. It was on this website that she first gained the taste of celebrity that pushed her towards her current aim. When she admitted her actual size on the site she was inundated with messages begging for photographs. It was here that she met her second husband, the one hundred and fifty pound Phillipe, father of her currently four year old daughter Jacqueline. Donna was so large at the time of the birth that it took thirty medics to perform the high risk caesarean section. Phillipe acted as Donna’s “feeder” preparing meals for her and helping her shop as well as reach the different portions of her meals spread across the table.

Are we back? Good good. So, we’ll start by tying this into Christmas a little by telling you what Donna ate for her last Christmas dinner. You’ll be equal parts impressed, repulsed and urged to bookmark this page so that you can revisit it after Christmas and pat yourself on the back for how little you ate. Here is what she ate for her last Christmas dinner – two 11kg (25lbs) turkeys, two maple-glazed hams, 6.8kg (15lbs) of potatoes – 4.5kg (10lbs) roast, 2.3kg (5lbs) mashed, five loaves of bread, 2.3kg of herb stuffing, three litres of gravy, three litres of cranberry dressing and an astonishing 9kg (20lbs) of vegetables. That’s just Christmas dinner, and you know damn well that there was Christmas pudding (apparently a salad made of marshmallow, cream cheese, whipped cream and cookies, if you can even call that a salad) to follow and probably other food throughout the day. The majority of this meal was cooked and served by her husband Phillipe at the time but she may not do as well this year as Phillipe has flown the coop. Now that she has split up from Phillipe, Donna had originally decided to go on a diet in order to raise her children better and be more self-sufficient. However, something changed her mind and she has not only kept up her eating habits, but has now turned to Jacqueline to act as her feeder and the four year old is loving helping her mummy out as most four year olds do.

Here’s the thing though, the action of a feeder is not suitable for a four year old in most cases and is entirely unsuitable considering the way Donna funds her $500 weekly shopping bill. You see Donna makes her money from a premium website she has set up that allows people to pay and see photos and videos of her eating. That may not seem that harmful until you realise that the people paying to visit this website are fetishists and that this website acts as porn to them. In effect, four year old Jacqueline is buying the sex toys that mommy uses in her porn career and helping her set them up for the porn shoots that she takes part in. Depending on how in-depth her role as feeder has become, Jacqueline may even be visible in some of the videos and photographs on Donna’s premium website which is bang out of order.

Donna and Jacqueline out shopping for extra snacks on top of their daily food delivery.

The gigantic New Jersey mother sees nothing wrong with getting Jacqueline this involved in helping her chase her dream weight of seventy-two stone (1,008lbs).

She helps me cook and comes shopping. I use a scooter to get around the store and she runs ahead to get my favourite foods. Anyone who says I’m setting a bad example should shut their mouth – they don’t know how much I love her. I’ve taught her to accept all sizes. If she wasn’t around to feed me, I’d have given up on my supersize dream. She’s my little angel.

Already Donna has to use a scooter due to mobility problems caused by high blood pressure, heart disease and diabetes. That this deeply unhappy woman would involve her daughter in the activities that are leading to her death, putting that sort of guilt on a child… That overwhelms me. Donna does say that she’s looking for a new feeder to take some of the pressure off her daughter, but her hopes seem a little unrealistic.

He must be handsome, slim, and at least 10 years younger than me.

She goes on to point out that  her website draws in $60,000 per year and that the feeder would not have to be financially responsible for the food she eats. I can only hope she either finds someone soon or truly realises what she is doing to her daughter.


55 thoughts on “Christmas Dinner And Other Small Countries

  1. I eat a lot but this Christmas dinner is about what I would eat for more than two months :ko:Everything else is just sick. Someone would say this is a freedom, do what you want with your own body and mind, but there are so many subtle layers in this story that make me feel sick :yuck:

  2. The United States as a nation has a severe problem with obesity. Donna the self centered woman should be helped by family and friends immediately to save her life. She is nothing more than a compulsive OVER-EATER. Her addiction is FOOD. IF her addiction were alcohol we would call her a drunk. She needs an Over Eaters Anonymous meeting NOW! She has to want to save herself first NOT celebrate her gross FATNESS! :furious:

  3. I hardly think this is evocative of standard American life, so there's no need to generalize a whole nation of people. Indeed, many celebrities hail from the USA, most of them technically very underweight. Don't make this an undue attack on a country we all know is as diverse as they come. There are sick idiots like Donna in every continent. End of. Now, away from bigotry and onto the actual post content Mik put up. Donna has serious mental issues, and they stem far beyond food. She is weak-willed and unhappy with herself, so she goes completely the other way from dieting and decides she WANTS to be fatter than anyone. Fine, her own stupid life.. until she has a child. Her lifestyle alone is an awful message. The child will surely be being bullied. Factor in her mother's constant ill health and likely young death and that's a recipe for a very disturbed child before you even consider her new role as feeder. This woman should be fucking put down and her daughter put into care. Disgusting.

  4. Originally posted by Furie:

    Donna says: "Anyone who says I'm setting a bad example should shut their mouth – they don't know how much I love her. I've taught her to accept all sizes."

    You're setting a bad example for her, Donna. Also, you are directly responsible for the pain she'll go through when she loses her mother before she's 10.What's more important? A bunch of fetishists paying you to stroke your ego by telling you you're beautiful, or not dying from stroke/heart disease/whatever so your daughter has a mother. She might have been taught to accept people regardless of their physical appearance – and, indeed, this is an excellent lesson for a child to learn – but you'll also teach her pain and grief once you pop your clogs before she's finished primary school. And that won't be helped by the teasing she'll get at school, not only about your size while you were alive, but by all the 'choked on a sandwich'-like 'jokes' she'll have to deal with on top of it all.You have a responsibility as a parent: Your daughter should be the most important thing in the world to you, and she clearly isn't. For her sake, I hope you wake up to yourself, pay attention to the doctors and lose that weight (sensibly) and give that website away. Imagine being around to see your daughter graduate, or to show you your first grandchild. Not gonna happen the way things are.

  5. If she wasn't around to feed me, I'd have given up on my supersize dream. She's my little angel.

    Take the child away. :left: what?

  6. I'm in charge here (ask anyone) and your comment was posted out of anger rather than thought, attempting to continue an imagined argument rather than evaluate comments on their merit whether they disagree or not. I thought it would be less embarrassing for you to not have that seen by the other people on this page so I removed it. :up:While I agree that obesity is a problem in so many countries, it is not the extent of eating disorders around the world. Just as deadly and even more unsightly are those who refuse to eat at all and, in a bizarre twist, they too have websites dedicated to them with people with fetishes encouraging their self-destruction so they've got something to masturbate over. It sickens me that this supposedly civilised species has so little regard for the well-being of strangers if they can get their rocks off.Anyway, the point is that it's not just America that needs to attack the problem and obesity isn't the only problem that needs to be attacked. A greater understanding of food, the way it affects the body and the way our emotional states can play into how we eat needs to rise in the overall population. On top of that some better warning label regulation wouldn't go amiss. Head down to your local shops and start comparing the nutritional information on foods that are labelled for healthy-eating (low fat, low sugar, etc) with the values on the regular versions. You'll be surprised just how often the regular version works out better for you.Originally posted by Spaggyj:

    Donna has serious mental issues, and they stem far beyond food. She is weak-willed and unhappy with herself, so she goes completely the other way from dieting and decides she WANTS to be fatter than anyone.

    Now I'm going to disagree with that to a degree. I believe that she's scared, or at least she was at the beginning. She's always been told that she's better looking with a bit of weight on and she was happy that way until her unhappiness made her pile on the pounds. She was obviously unhappy that way and wanted an operation to help her gain control, but was afraid she wouldn't be loved, afraid she couldn't keep control like the food allowed her to. When her friend died during the surgery she was due to have, that gave all of her fears a manifestation, something she could voice as the reason behind the fears that she probably doesn't even know are there. Since that time she's surrounded herself with an attitude of "they don;t understand me" for naysayers and "finally someone gets me, I fit in here" for the people encouraging her behaviour. It's the equivalent of rocking back and forth in a corner saying "nothing's gonna hurt me" over and over.Originally posted by clean:

    You have a responsibility as a parent: Your daughter should be the most important thing in the world to you, and she clearly isn't.

    Originally posted by Cois:

    Take the child away.

    I honestly believe that if this woman actually lost her child and this was the reason, she'd sort herself out. She's spent so much effort convincing herself that this is the way to be, and so much of that has been in convincing herself that she's a good mother (outside the focus of this post, she may well be) that it's obvious how much she loves her daughter. If she lost her and had the chance of getting her back by adopting a healthier lifestyle, I bet she'd do it.

  7. I do actually believe that Donna loves her daughter. If she didn't she wouldn't have turned her into her feeder.And that's wrong on so many levels. Children are children, and should not be put into an adult's role like this. Donna definitely has mental issues, and I hope that the thought that she might eat herself to death and make her daughter mum-less will give her a wake up call at some point.

  8. Dear Dark Furie,You seem to have no trouble with the quote attached here, since it still appears.Originally posted by Spaggyj:

    This woman should be fucking put down and her daughter put into care.

    "put down" really?Within this highly charged & serious discussion, flippant comments, such as that, are very offensive and counter productive.

  9. Much more polite than your first comment about that, but still kinda comes across like you're trying to pick a fight because you were disagreed with over all America having this problem and also like you're trying to undermine how I run my page.This is indeed a highly charged issue and people are bound to express their feelings about it in highly emotional ways. As I did with your comment, it is best to assume the words "this makes me feel so strongly that I feel" in front of such emotive responses. It'll give you a better understanding of people and allow conversations to go more smoothly. Never assume someone really is a killer until you've seen the knives. πŸ˜‰

  10. Originally posted by Furie:

    Never assume someone really is a killer until you've seen the knives.

    That reminded me of the Indiana Jones movie when the fellow was wildly brandishing his sword. Indie took out his gun shot him dead. :doh: :cheers:

  11. Yeah, so I overreacted. I do that, I'm known for it and I try not to. I still think she should be put down. *shrug* I'm not right but at least I'm honest πŸ˜€

  12. 'Put down' usually refers to an act of mercy. I am not trying to change the subject to euthanasia (better keep the lid on that can of worms), I'm just saying that some might consider the phrase 'put down' as positive in this perspective.

  13. Yeah but eating so much you take up doctors' and surgeons' valuable time so often… it's ridiculous. My statement was entirely out of anger towards the woman, and i stand by it wholly. She is a drain on resources and a terrible mother.

  14. Originally posted by Aqualion:

    I'm just saying that some might consider the phrase 'put down' as positive in this perspective.

    That is so true Martin and All I was trying to say was, If Donna wants to be put down it should be her choice. Not ours. That is what Dr Kevorkian was all about. Today people live much longer. Doctors have all neat ways of hooking us up to machines that can keep our BODIES going for years. Some of us do not want extreme measures used just to keep the blood flowing. They prefer death to pain and suffering, that should be a choice also. Quality of life is important to me. When the time comes I just want to slide out. I don't want some HEROIC doctor telling my family NO we can keep him alive this way or that way. There is a reason hospitals now offer patients the choice of "No Extreme Measures". In the mean time eat, drink and We Be MERRY! :cheers: :hat: :cheers:

  15. $30,000+ just on her own food – once her daughter's needs and all the other bills are taken care of (particularly including what I suspect are increasing medical bills), there won't be anything left to 'hire' a feeder (which will look pretty weird on the ol' resumΓ© too).Mik, next time maybe you should try finding a story about someone normal from New Jersey, like Dennis…oh wait, never mind :pYour story is a little out of date now, anyway. I wouldn't ordinarily link to HuffPo, but judging by this article on there by her in October, it sounds like she's slowly turning her life around.

  16. She turned it around after those interviews and aimed for fat again, last I heard. I'm sure whatever her weight is next month will be reported and we'll see which direction she's heading in.Then again, I've been cutting down my food intake as the chicken shovel keeps bending under the weight of my snacks. The annoying thing is that after cutting my food by two thirds on average over the year, I've put on a stone. :irked:

  17. Tell me about it. It's been ages since the effort required to eat a bucket of chicken was enough to make me lose any weight gained by it. :awww:

  18. Actually you are pretty safe until you turn the next corner. One year into the forties I had to buy a new wardrobe, and I was skinny in the first place. It's when you start wearing belts with no belt buckles, because the buckle feels cold under your belly, that you know you are a grown man…

  19. I think I'm still a long way from that :eyes: I think the missus will stop feeding me way before I reach that point :insane:

  20. I've been overtaken by a slight central obesity. It wormed its way into my stomach and changed its shape to that of a basketball.

  21. Originally posted by Aqualion:

    It's when you start wearing belts with no belt buckles, because the buckle feels cold under your belly, that you know you are a grown man…

    :hat::sing: Hava nagila,Hava nagila,Hava nagila,Ve' nismecha!

  22. Originally posted by Aqualion:

    A slight central obesity is something no man can escape.

    Actually, I did. I even lost 2kg in last two months :doh:

  23. @DarksYou just moved half way around the World, man. To be with the woman you love. Romance is known to cause weight loss.Plus, men usually lose weight in the first two years of marriage. But after that…

  24. Originally posted by Furie:

    …we find where best to hide the cardboard buckets so that she'll never be able to find them and know your dark secret.

    Replace 'card board boxes' with 'liquor bottles' and you pretty much have the story of my second marriage. In hindsight I can't believe it lasted a full three years.

  25. Getting it out is easy. Just smash the bottle. πŸ˜† .I'm about to turn the corner again on the twentieth and I better not need a new wardrobe as it it could be 2 to 3 years before I get to order uniform again! :irked: .But perhaps I can cancel one thing with another by getting married. :sherlock: .Now where did I put that mailorder catalogue? :whistle::p:jester: .

  26. Originally posted by Furie:

    How on earth did you fit chicken in liquor bottles? :eyes:

    Who cares how it got in there, the real problem is how to get it out…

  27. Originally posted by qlue:

    turn the corner again

    Again? Does that mean you have actually accomplished to reverse metabolism to a state where you are able to 'go back' and literally turn what ever corner you have already turned? Or is it just plain old fashioned time travelling?:P

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