Christmas is coming, the geese are getting fat.
Please put a penny in the old man’s hat.
No, if the old man wants a penny he can freaking ask for it rather than getting people to sing for it. It’s bad enough this year with all these Occupy twats sitting in the high street and asking people to provide them with food, tents and sleeping bags for their protest against poverty. Perhaps they’d do better if they weren’t wearing designer gear, constantly texting people on their high end mobiles and skiving off rather than working to get through University instead of taking a loan and complaining that they have to pay it back.
Woah, got a bit distracted there didn’t I? That’s not even the line of that song I’m trying to respond to in this. Rather the one about the goose getting fat is what caught me because it’s not the only thing that is getting fat. You may have heard about Donna Simpson in the past but, if you haven’t, there’s a small recap in italics below so feel free to read that and catch up on who is who in this story or skip them if you already know.
Donna has one aim in life – to be the fattest woman in the world. She has always been plus sized but really started to pack on the pounds when she met her first husband Robert at only nineteen years of age. A steak chef, he would work night shifts and come home with leftovers from work, inspiring many nights eating highly fatty steak and pastry meals. Her husband encouraged her weight gain and told her he preferred her that way, saying she was sexier when bigger. At twenty-seven years old and twenty-five stone (350 lbs) she fell pregnant with her eldest son, Devin who is currently fifteen.
The marriage ended shortly after her son was born and Donna turned to food for comfort. In four years she ate so much that by the time she turned thirty-one years old she weighed a massive forty-three stone. It was then that Donna decided that enough is enough and tried to lose weight. She dropped five stone in six months and was booked to have a gastric band operation that would have reduced the amount she was able to eat. Everything was going swimmingly until tragedy struck and a friend of Donna’s died while undergoing a similar operation. Donna took this as a sign and cancelled the operation, shifting her focus to eating what she wanted when she wanted.
At thirty-seven years old she discovered a website set up for fat fetishists to celebrate obese women. It was on this website that she first gained the taste of celebrity that pushed her towards her current aim. When she admitted her actual size on the site she was inundated with messages begging for photographs. It was here that she met her second husband, the one hundred and fifty pound Phillipe, father of her currently four year old daughter Jacqueline. Donna was so large at the time of the birth that it took thirty medics to perform the high risk caesarean section. Phillipe acted as Donna’s “feeder” preparing meals for her and helping her shop as well as reach the different portions of her meals spread across the table.
Are we back? Good good. So, we’ll start by tying this into Christmas a little by telling you what Donna ate for her last Christmas dinner. You’ll be equal parts impressed, repulsed and urged to bookmark this page so that you can revisit it after Christmas and pat yourself on the back for how little you ate. Here is what she ate for her last Christmas dinner – two 11kg (25lbs) turkeys, two maple-glazed hams, 6.8kg (15lbs) of potatoes – 4.5kg (10lbs) roast, 2.3kg (5lbs) mashed, five loaves of bread, 2.3kg of herb stuffing, three litres of gravy, three litres of cranberry dressing and an astonishing 9kg (20lbs) of vegetables. That’s just Christmas dinner, and you know damn well that there was Christmas pudding (apparently a salad made of marshmallow, cream cheese, whipped cream and cookies, if you can even call that a salad) to follow and probably other food throughout the day. The majority of this meal was cooked and served by her husband Phillipe at the time but she may not do as well this year as Phillipe has flown the coop. Now that she has split up from Phillipe, Donna had originally decided to go on a diet in order to raise her children better and be more self-sufficient. However, something changed her mind and she has not only kept up her eating habits, but has now turned to Jacqueline to act as her feeder and the four year old is loving helping her mummy out as most four year olds do.
Here’s the thing though, the action of a feeder is not suitable for a four year old in most cases and is entirely unsuitable considering the way Donna funds her $500 weekly shopping bill. You see Donna makes her money from a premium website she has set up that allows people to pay and see photos and videos of her eating. That may not seem that harmful until you realise that the people paying to visit this website are fetishists and that this website acts as porn to them. In effect, four year old Jacqueline is buying the sex toys that mommy uses in her porn career and helping her set them up for the porn shoots that she takes part in. Depending on how in-depth her role as feeder has become, Jacqueline may even be visible in some of the videos and photographs on Donna’s premium website which is bang out of order.
The gigantic New Jersey mother sees nothing wrong with getting Jacqueline this involved in helping her chase her dream weight of seventy-two stone (1,008lbs).
She helps me cook and comes shopping. I use a scooter to get around the store and she runs ahead to get my favourite foods. Anyone who says I’m setting a bad example should shut their mouth – they don’t know how much I love her. I’ve taught her to accept all sizes. If she wasn’t around to feed me, I’d have given up on my supersize dream. She’s my little angel.
Already Donna has to use a scooter due to mobility problems caused by high blood pressure, heart disease and diabetes. That this deeply unhappy woman would involve her daughter in the activities that are leading to her death, putting that sort of guilt on a child… That overwhelms me. Donna does say that she’s looking for a new feeder to take some of the pressure off her daughter, but her hopes seem a little unrealistic.
He must be handsome, slim, and at least 10 years younger than me.
She goes on to point out that her website draws in $60,000 per year and that the feeder would not have to be financially responsible for the food she eats. I can only hope she either finds someone soon or truly realises what she is doing to her daughter.