Xmas Food – A Little Bit Of Rudolph

I love food. Yeah yeah, you knew that about me. What you probably didn’t know is that I’ve gone out of my way to eat as many different things as possible in the past. If I hear about something I’ve never tried then I usually want to give it a try, especially if it was once playing with a ball of string… Of course, there are things that even I wont eat and some that I will. Venison is incredibly good for you and tastes beautiful. It can replace beef in most recipes and most who try it prefer it. Give it a try folks.

I actually found a wonderful tin of “Reindeer” a couple of years ago and planned to use it as part of a series of Christmas posts yet haven’t been able to fit it in these past years. Unfortunately the image was lost when my hosting service closed down. This year however, there is a little bit of a story attached to it which gives it precedence. This reindeer pâté has been on sale for a few years with little incident yet has only this year hit the attention of the moral majority on the internet. In case any of you are unfamiliar with the moral majority, they’re the ones who are exceedingly vocal about the way things should be and what everyone else is doing wrong, all the while beating their wives, ignoring their kids and getting as drunk as possible before driving. We’ve all met a member of the moral majority and know them by their constant bloody whining about how things should be different for everyone but them.

So the moral majority have found out that reindeer pâté is on sale and being advertised as a relative of Rudolph. I’m pretty sure these people would have been fine if it were just regular old venison pâté (which it is but rebranded for this time of year) but the idea of their favourite reindeer X-Man (with a nose like that he has to be a mutant) being spread on crackers was too much for them. “It’s a disgrace” they roared much as they do about everything that they have never taken the time to understand such as evolution or maths… The moral majority rose up and started shouting about how wrong it was to have reindeer pâté with cries of “Wont somebody think of the children!” and claims that the way the venison is harvested from deer is cruel. Yeah, because the way other meats are harvested from animals is totally kind and leaves them unharmed and living on a farm upstate…

Now if you’re like me you’ve already guessed the end of this tale. If not, prepare to be enlightened. The extra publicity caused by the moral majority fighting against this “evil, Christmas-killing company” has caused their reindeer pâté to sell out worldwide. Not a single online retailer has any stock left and the company that makes it can’t fulfill orders until January.

If you’re one of the lucky ones who got some of this stuff in, may I suggest serving it with a little cherry on top to represent a red nose. It adds a lot of atmosphere to the snack. If you’re one of those who fought against it, you’re on the naughty list now.


60 thoughts on “Xmas Food – A Little Bit Of Rudolph

  1. 😆 . There's nothing quite like public outrage to send sales soaring. 😆 .I doubt the company follows Sharia slaughtering practices so I won't be eating any. But I'd certainly have no problem trying it he they did. :up: .

  2. Considering that this is basically posh liver spread, I'd opt for a red cocktail onion rather than a cherry to finish the presentation. :whistle: .

  3. Wild venison your (ex) bro-in-law hunted down, shot and butchered himself is the finest kind of Venison there is.But I'll eat this as a consolation snack, no worries 🙂 Presumably the nose (and other end pieces) ends up in the Reindeer Haggis?

  4. I'd buy reindeer paté if I found it on the shelves. Not sure I'd like it – in fact, I've got no idea – but I like the thought. 🙂

  5. Paté? Just liver and lard cooked in a pot, tossed in another pot and baked in the oven. Every idiot can make that, and still it is sold like the most exclusive thing in the World. I wouldn't mind tasting that reindeer paté, though. Red currant jelly (best for any sort of game) on the side. Why not?

  6. I've always said I'd never eat Paté, but my sentiments on the matter have suddenly changed…especially if it's Rudolph. I cannot stand that freakin' red-nosed ass-kisser! :irked:

  7. first, the area of slaughtering must be away from and down wind of the paddock where the animals to be slaughterd are kept.An animal may not be slaughtered in sight of other animals.The knife must be sharpened razor sharp and must be sharpened before you fetch the animal to be slaughtered.The animal is laid down facing the Qaaba.The name of God is pronounced over the animal at the time of slaughtering. (the minimum required is "Bismillah" but usually, "Bismillahi-Allahu-Akbar")the wind pipe and all four blood vessels must be but through (in a single stroke if possible, but never more than three strokes.But the head must still be attached.The animal is then allowed to bleed out.

  8. Originally posted by Nerak:

    …especially if it's Rudolph. I cannot stand that freakin' red-nosed ass-kisser!

    You're gonna love this then. :DOriginally posted by Aqualion:

    Red currant jelly

    Originally posted by qlue:

    red cocktail onion

    Sun dried tomato.Originally posted by FlaRin:

    Presumably the nose (and other end pieces) ends up in the Reindeer Haggis?

    Red dyed reindeer testicle?Originally posted by qlue:

    Sharia slaughtering practices

    What are they? As in specifics not why do they exist.

  9. It sounded like fair treatment to the animal until the end. With the head still attached the animal is likely to feel pain and anxiety (to say the least) while bleeding out. Better to skip the blessing and sever the head completely, far as I'm concerned.

  10. Actually, someone once did some studies charting the neural activity of the pain centres of the animals brain. They found that the Muslim and Jewish methods, which are almost identical, cause the least amount of 'pain' and the captive bolt method employed by commercial abattoirs caused the most pain. :left: .

  11. Meat that's commercially slaughtered tastes like complete crap when compared to meat that's slaughtered manually – this is because commercially, the animals have been herded in trucks and pens for hours, days and are a scared as fuck, and all the hormones flooding their bodies *really* affect the flavour of the meat. Manual slaughter, if performed by a butcher (or farmer etc.) who knows what he's doing, doesn't as a rule stress the animal too much, because it doesn't feel pressured or in danger (confused, perhaps) and is relatively relaxed – this makes for much nicer, sweeter tasting meat 🙂 Generally speaking 🙂

  12. I just came home from town with two organically bred ducks (for our Christmas dinner). Comparing them with conventionally bred specimens of the same age and weight makes the choice fairly easy, I think. These ducks actually have muscles, and they smell like real ducks, if you know what I mean. When I was a kid and went to live at my uncle's farm in the summer, he would take me out hunting, mostly for duck. The birds I bought down town today are like the ones I remember from back then. The ones you find in the freezer in the supermarket are not even fit to be called ducks, they are just fat chickens.

  13. 😆 For me paté sound pathetic :p What is really delicious is a heart of "Rudolph's cousin" fried in butter and seasoned with salt and pepper

  14. Bambi… No, of course not… She went to live on a farm… Yeah, upstate. They don't allow visitors…Originally posted by serola:

    What is really delicious is a heart of "Rudolph's cousin" fried in butter and seasoned with salt and pepper

    Never been fond of heart. I've always found it a bit fatty which invariably leads to thoughts that the animal would still be alive if it were more fit and then I get a vision of a deer in 1980s legwarmers, usually doing the Flashdance routine… It's a mess.

  15. Originally posted by Furie:

    I've gone out of my way to eat as many different things as possible in the past. If I hear about something I've never tried then I usually want to give it a try

    I suspect something like this is where you can emphasize the use of 'usually want to give it a try', allowing you the option to pass. Or pass out, as the case may be … :eyes:Originally posted by FlaRin:

    commercially, the animals have been herded in trucks and pens for hours, days and are a scared as fuck

    Many moons ago I (briefly) worked in an abbatoir, and I can tell you the animals know exactly what's going on up ahead. (I didn't do any of the killing, but I was up there 'getting the numbers').Originally posted by qlue:

    the area of slaughtering must be away from and down wind of the paddock where the animals to be slaughterd are kept.An animal may not be slaughtered in sight of other animals.

    That sounds like a very good idea, both to keep the meat from getting too tough due to stress hormones, and for general humane reasons.

  16. my meat comes from a butchery not no stinking cow! :headbang:.Semi seriously though.. meat is meat but everyone sees reindeer as santa's little helpers or rather sleigh pulling slaves a.k.a. pets.. :left:.Who wants a piece of Prancer? :whistle:

  17. Since the Santa Myth isn't really a part of Nordic Folklore, we have a different approach to reindeer, especially the ones that actually live in our area. They are bred and raised as cattle in the Northern parts of Finland. Very rarely used as draft animals. No reason for that. They have some of the World's strongest horses up there. Which by the way also makes a good meal. The horse meat vossakorv sausage is delicious. Just for the record.

  18. Originally posted by Aqualion:

    The horse meat vossakorv sausage is delicious.

    See how much more of the world's food you have yet to experience, Mik? You have much to look forward to.

  19. Originally posted by Furie:

    of duck and beef

    Sort of. The thing about horse meat is, that the animals used for slaughter are usually quite old, so the meat is properly matured, unlike beef and pork where they slaughter the animals as soon as possible due to commercial demands. Meat on mammals will mature and get tender with age, and also, a horse which has served as a draft animal or even a race horse, has been physically fit and healthy for most of its life. Result: very high quality meat. So, for the sentimentalists: We will not eat your little pony. We will wait till he gets really old and crazy (like most horses do) and then we most certainly will eat him. Better than turning him into soap, if you ask me.Quoth the Lion. 😉

  20. Originally posted by Aqualion:

    We will not eat your little pony.

    :sst: Brony! :pOriginally posted by Aqualion:

    Quoth the Lion.

    NEVERMORE!!!I knew that. :hat:Originally posted by qlue:

    *plans a visit to the Lion's dinner table!*

    Oh Aadil, you and your crazy suicide plans.

  21. Just what I thought. Eating with a lion is not the sanest choice, especially not when the lion in question obviously is omnivore..Apart from that, you are welcome, Aadil. If you meet Wolfboy on your way, take him with you. Then we don't have to worry about starving.:chef:

  22. Originally posted by rose-marie:

    Vossakorv isn't horse meat – it's sheep.

    Vossakorv is usually from lamb, yes, but I was served vossakorv from horse meat in Oslo by some time in the early nineties. Our host made a big thing out of it. As far as I know "hestekjøtt" means horse meat. Perhaps the sausages were made from the same recipe as the sheep ones. I didn't ask. Tasted like horse meat and I am pretty sure it was. 😉

  23. As far as I know – I am not Norwegian – the vossakorv is a traditional dish. You can get vossakorv in the supermarket, but I don't think it is a trademark. Haven't been in Norway for ten years, though, so I guess much can have changed.Here's a recipe for making your own. In Norwegian, guys, just to keep it real.:chef:

  24. Right. Didn't see that in your comment above.I think Vossakorv is a registered trademark and as such cannot be called that if it's made with horse meat.But whatever… I'm sure it was good anyway.

  25. I'm not Norwegian either ;)Yes, it's a traditional dish, and yes, you can buy it in the supermarket, but it's also legally protected through some kind of product designation.

  26. I've eaten horse meat a number of times in Belgium – I found it to be quite like a rather lean and dry, slightly sweet Beef. I quite liked it 🙂

  27. I was literally headhunted by aliens once. They took my brain entirely and replaced it with a huge mutant cabbage. It is now in control of my body. They also took another part of me entirely and replaced it with a huge lamb's meat sausage. I will donate neither to science in compassion for future science students.

  28. Reindeer fart with noses. Everybody knows. Hence the red nose. Also sometimes nose will play funny Christmas tunes. Rudolph was quite a Valentino with the female reindeers, so they say. Crooning through his nose whilst pleasing the females.

  29. The old nasal romance trick, huh? Your alien nose sausage might be quite a draw card itself, then – am I right? 😉

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