The Naughty List

If, like me, you scroll posts and check out the pictures before reading the words you’ll have no doubt noticed the slightly evil looking teenaged girl that adorns this post. You may have wondered why she’s filling in a letter to Santa at her age or why her hair is so terrifyingly lesbianic (a mixture of lesbian hair and 80s giant robot toy lines). The child is thirteen year old Mekeeda Austin and she’s been in the news recently because her mother found a letter to Santa in her schoolbag. As I’m sure all parents reading this would have done, Mekeeda’s mother Tracey first said “Awwwwwww” out loud and then wondered to herself just how much a child psychologist charges for ridding kids of the belief in Santa. Then she opened the letter to see what her daughter wanted for Christmas.

Teenformers, annoyingly pink and generic.

Inside was a politely written list of things that the girl wanted delivered to her for Christmas including a Blackberry smartphone and the real-life Justin Bieber. What followed got Tracey thinking about the cost of child psychologists again as Mekeeda made sure that Santa knew he was to deliver at least two of the gifts in the list or she would find him and kill him. Just in case Santa was weary of his long reign as the king of Christmas and didn’t mind death threats, she made sure that he knew she’d go after his loved ones as well, threatening to hunt down his reindeer, cook them and serve their meat to the homeless on Christmas day (which, as a fan of venison, sounds like a bloody lovely thing to do for the homeless). “Remember,” the note to Santa ends, “two of these or you die.”

“When I first found the note I thought it was funny.” lied the terrified mother who was frantically searching the yellow pages for the psychology section at the time of interview. “Now I think I’d better get her what she wants. The last thing I want is for her to kill Santa.” said the forty year old mother whose still existing belief in Santa has obviously caused these problems for her daughter.

The naughty list. “Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeere’s Santa!!!

When Mekeeda was questioned on the matter by local news sources (presumably having had the story sold to them by a mother who couldn’t afford all the gifts and wanted to save the local grotto from being raided by her daughter Columbine-style), she gave this reply; “I don’t really believe in Santa any more but I was angry because I thought I wasn’t going to get all the presents I wanted this year. I want all of these things and I don’t see why I shouldn’t get them.” Hmmm, how about the fact that, as a Justin Bieber fan your genes should be removed from the world rather than given anything they want?


11 thoughts on “The Naughty List

  1. Mekeeda seems fairly well adjusted for a thirteen year old! But I think her mother probably needs to be institutionalised! 🙄 .

  2. I want all of these things and I don’t see why I shouldn’t get them.

    Well, insofar as the Justin Bieber, she shouldn't get him because human trafficking is illegal. And as for the Blackberry, she shouldn't get it because she's a spoiled little psycho twat.Still, I truly wish her luck in her anti-Santa crusade. I hope someone takes her in a helicopter to the north pole and just kind of … drops her off there. And leaves …

  3. Jeez… This story is wrong on so many levels! :faint:I had my godson crying on his third birthday because I'd bought him a radio controlled motorcycle. I though that would be cool for most three-year-olds, but he started crying and refused playing with it because…. it wasn't wireless.So yes, spoiled brats is only their first name…

  4. The way I read it it's the story of a rather inventive teen who knows how to 'play' her mother. She was obviously aware that her mother would read the letter to Santa Claus, since that probably is what happens every year in that family, so she thought that this time she'd sorta reinforce it a bit. I don't find it scandalous at all. The list is a piece of fiction, containing no actual thread to any one. In fact I think it is a rather innocent story. The fact, that she limited her wishes down to only two of the listed items assures me that she is a healthy kid. She probably knows her mother has limited means. I like the kid's strategy. Shows ambition and inventiveness. Thumbs up for that.How can anybody be upset by that? And why does this particular story turn our otherwise perfectly sensible commenters into a raving lynch-mob. There are absolutely no scandalous elements in it, the way I see it.You should see some of the notes I had in my schoolbag when I was 13. Ask yourself what you had in yours…PS: The hairdo is a copy of popular pop artist Rhyanna's. Perfectly normal for a 13 year old girl.

  5. 😆 i'm with Martin on this one.. Trickery is the best way to get what you want.. Now guys.. I know where you all live.. :devil:.Damnit. . :irked: that only works if we all lived in the same town..

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