I got a new phone recently.
For many people this would be the cue to start waxing lyrical about the wonders of their new toy and talking about how it has such advanced technology as “downloadable ringtones” or “changeable wallpapers” (still the most asked for technologies in mobile shops to this day). You wont get anything like that from me as I’ve dealt with such things for fifteen years and felt they were old hat after the first week. In fact, as often as I get new phones, I feel it would be rather unfair if I were to give yet another series of articles detailing my new one. Rather I’ll explain that my lovely fiancée won it for me in a one-in-a-million competition chance, it’s a Samsuing Galaxy SII and it was voted phone of the year last year. As fast of technology moves you’d expect that it’d be well out of date by now, yet the phone has slotted perfectly into my life, made so many things easier to do and is easily powerful enough to handle any need I might have for the forseeable future.
There’s a hell of a lot to love about this phone but I think the thing that stands out for me is the size. With a 4.3 inch screen, even my Meaty Man-Thumbs Of JusticeTM rarely make a mistake using it. Another feature I love but can’t use, is the wi-fi connectivity. Don’t get me wrong, I regularly use wi-fi over a mobile network these days, but this particular feature is more akin to Bluetooth, allowing two phones or devices with a similar feature to link up and share items over the 21MB/second wi-fi connection rather than Bluetooth. At the moment it’s something I can’t use, but a nice touch that will probably be more useful in the future when Kim upgrades her own device (the phone was too large for her) to one with the same function.
New Year (Same Problems)
I’ve been having a little trouble getting here this year due to web problems. It seems that whenever I decide to come to this site, my web access decides that it is going to go for a walk, leaving me using all my technical knowledge to try and get it working again. As that technical knowledge amounts to clicking on links harder and/or faster (the web equivalent of hitting a television that isn’t working well) than I had been doing previously, I don’t have much luck. As you well know, I despise smiley-only comments as being one step short of pressing a “Like” button, as these things promote a lack of communication beyond categorising oneself. As such I do try to comment more thoughtfully (or sarcastically and insultingly so long as it’s funny and doesn’t go to far) rather than simply marking a page with a smiley to indicate my presence. Quite often my web access deserts me just as I’m commenting, so I must assure you that I am reading the things that many of you post but am unfortunately having trouble letting you all know that. I rarely even manage to complete the list of comments on my own posts these days.
New Words (The Miktionary)
And now on to the final section of this post – new words. This is something I had been planning to turn into a semi-regular event or even a larger article, but I’ve decided to test the water here first. I love that language is constantly evolving although sometimes I hate the directions and trends it takes. Still, sometimes some new words appear that strike you as keepers and sometimes you’ll come up with others yourself in the spur of the moment. Here are a few of those new words.
- Meevage – the cleavage between a pair of moobs (man-boobs).
“That rather rotund gentleman has impressive meevage.”
- Prevage – the almost cleavage effect given when a young girl pries her puppy fat into a push up bra and doesn’t quite realise how ridiculous she looks.
“I was peckish but then I saw McDonalds window full of sad little prevage and it put me off my food.”
- Hangry – the anger and grouchiness that comes from too little food and goes when the person eats something.
“I was so mad and then I had a burger that calmed me right down. Turns out I was just hangry.”
- Thongry – the anger that comes from wearing uncomfortable underwear.
“I was snapping at people all day but felt fine once I got that bloody thong off. I must’ve just been thongry.”
- Grandma’d – when a ridiculous and mostly-hated fashion trend becomes so pervasive that women in later life wear it too, signalling that it is finally over.
“They think they look so good in crotch high Crocs, but wait until their moms start doing it. Then it’ll be Grandma’d for good.”
And that’s my list of new words for you for now. If you have any new words you’d like to add to the vocabulary, feel free to mail them to me and I’ll feature them in a later post.
Or forget them entirely for a year or so…
You know what I’m like. :coffee: