New Year: New Phone & New Words

New Phone

I got a new phone recently.

For many people this would be the cue to start waxing lyrical about the wonders of their new toy and talking about how it has such advanced technology as “downloadable ringtones” or “changeable wallpapers” (still the most asked for technologies in mobile shops to this day). You wont get anything like that from me as I’ve dealt with such things for fifteen years and felt they were old hat after the first week. In fact, as often as I get new phones, I feel it would be rather unfair if I were to give yet another series of articles detailing my new one. Rather I’ll explain that my lovely fiancΓ©e won it for me in a one-in-a-million competition chance, it’s a Samsuing Galaxy SII and it was voted phone of the year last year. As fast of technology moves you’d expect that it’d be well out of date by now, yet the phone has slotted perfectly into my life, made so many things easier to do and is easily powerful enough to handle any need I might have for the forseeable future.

That’s right folks. The iPhone killer now has a phone known as the iPhone killer. Apple are doomed!!!
[Click image for Apple users video]

There’s a hell of a lot to love about this phone but I think the thing that stands out for me is the size. With a 4.3 inch screen, even my Meaty Man-Thumbs Of JusticeTM rarely make a mistake using it. Another feature I love but can’t use, is the wi-fi connectivity. Don’t get me wrong, I regularly use wi-fi over a mobile network these days, but this particular feature is more akin to Bluetooth, allowing two phones or devices with a similar feature to link up and share items over the 21MB/second wi-fi connection rather than Bluetooth. At the moment it’s something I can’t use, but a nice touch that will probably be more useful in the future when Kim upgrades her own device (the phone was too large for her) to one with the same function.

New Year (Same Problems)

I’ve been having a little trouble getting here this year due to web problems. It seems that whenever I decide to come to this site, my web access decides that it is going to go for a walk, leaving me using all my technical knowledge to try and get it working again. As that technical knowledge amounts to clicking on links harder and/or faster (the web equivalent of hitting a television that isn’t working well) than I had been doing previously, I don’t have much luck. As you well know, I despise smiley-only comments as being one step short of pressing a “Like” button, as these things promote a lack of communication beyond categorising oneself. As such I do try to comment more thoughtfully (or sarcastically and insultingly so long as it’s funny and doesn’t go to far) rather than simply marking a page with a smiley to indicate my presence. Quite often my web access deserts me just as I’m commenting, so I must assure you that I am reading the things that many of you post but am unfortunately having trouble letting you all know that. I rarely even manage to complete the list of comments on my own posts these days.

New Words (The Miktionary)

And now on to the final section of this post – new words. This is something I had been planning to turn into a semi-regular event or even a larger article, but I’ve decided to test the water here first. I love that language is constantly evolving although sometimes I hate the directions and trends it takes. Still, sometimes some new words appear that strike you as keepers and sometimes you’ll come up with others yourself in the spur of the moment. Here are a few of those new words.

  • Meevage – the cleavage between a pair of moobs (man-boobs).
    “That rather rotund gentleman has impressive meevage.”
  • Prevage – the almost cleavage effect given when a young girl pries her puppy fat into a push up bra and doesn’t quite realise how ridiculous she looks.
    “I was peckish but then I saw McDonalds window full of sad little prevage and it put me off my food.”
  • Hangry – the anger and grouchiness that comes from too little food and goes when the person eats something.
    “I was so mad and then I had a burger that calmed me right down. Turns out I was just hangry.”
  • Thongry – the anger that comes from wearing uncomfortable underwear.
    “I was snapping at people all day but felt fine once I got that bloody thong off. I must’ve just been thongry.”
  • Grandma’d – when a ridiculous and mostly-hated fashion trend becomes so pervasive that women in later life wear it too, signalling that it is finally over.
    “They think they look so good in crotch high Crocs, but wait until their moms start doing it. Then it’ll be Grandma’d for good.”

Stay well back, quietly make a sandwich without being asked and hand it over. That’s how you deal with hangry girls.

And that’s my list of new words for you for now. If you have any new words you’d like to add to the vocabulary, feel free to mail them to me and I’ll feature them in a later post.

Or forget them entirely for a year or so…

You know what I’m like. :coffee:


29 thoughts on “New Year: New Phone & New Words

  1. The thing about women turning into opera divas when hungry… I know that very very well. Enough said. Hey, grats on the new set. I can vauch for the hardware. The processor is up 1.5 GHz dual-core on that one, right?

  2. Nice phone. I was thinking about it few months ago but I am too cheap to spend the money for a new phone :PMeevage πŸ˜† :insane:

  3. 1.2 dual I believe, although I'm a little out of practice for knowing such things so may be wrong.It's a hell of a phone Darko, and really brought out the artistic side of me setting it up. Having said that I donated my old handset to Kim's Gran and set that up in a very 1930s art deco style.

  4. IHATEtouchscreen mobiles.Because I have thick fingers, mostly.I have fixed people's Samsung Androids and iPhones… incredibly frustrating, and in Samsung's case, not intuitive at all. Non nerds have no chance.But I'm glad you like it… heh… heh heh… :bug:

  5. The thing about this phone is that, as with models I purchase for myself, it's an unbranded model. This means no network has built their bugs into the firmware. Combined with the fact that the firmware has been updated multiple times since release (normally a Samsung weakness) and any bugs that once existed have been fixed. :up: This is literally the very best device I've ever used.

  6. Coolio. If I'm honest with myself, all of my earlier Nokias have had learning curves too. I just find the screens absurdly small for an input medium. Honestly, my folks' mobiles were lucky to survive contact with me.

  7. Isn't that one of those devices that require really big pockets? :left: .About the same size as my netbook as I recall. :insane: .'unbranded' in South Africa only means that the local service provider hasn't slapped their logo on it. πŸ™„ .All phones have custom local firmware.

  8. Originally posted by Furie:

    the phone was too large for her

    My wife's phone got broken. So, we bought a new one. But it was too big. Then we gave that to wife's son and smaller one to my wife. But again it was no good to my wife. Too complex to use. So, wife's daughter got a new phone as well. Finally we end up to get the old phone repaired.There is a Finnish rhime that in short goes something like this:Carl messed with his cock,and the cock went broken.Mother bought a new,but it was too big.Sister gave hers, it was all too pretty.Daddy made out of wood,pee came out from Carl's mouth.The lesson learned is that my wife has serious problem to get used to anything new. She just goes berserk if something changes on her computer because of updates, or when trying to learn completely new user interface. I wonder if there is any good compound word for the anger caused by frustration when trying to learn something completely new and complex. Maybe its just "franger" :left:

  9. Originally posted by FlaRin:

    That is a totally bizarre Finnish rhyme!!!

    Bizarre? Revolting? It is, but it sounds much better in poetic metre :DKalle Kustaa Korkki,muniansa sorkki.Munat meni rikki,Kalle Kustaa itki.Γ„iti osti uudet,oli liian suuret.Sisko antoi oman,oli liaan soma.IsΓ€ veisti puusta,kusi tuli suusta.Originally posted by Aqualion:

    Then again, you can't eat a mobile phone, can you?

    No you can't, or eating woud not help in 'hanger'.

  10. Originally posted by Furie:

    is she like British women and blames you for the changes

    It is always men's fault πŸ˜† We are usually responsible on how technical devices turn out.Well, my wife told me it is not my fault but surely my manly ego got bruised after listening her rage for awhile. It was me after all who recommends those new devices πŸ˜‰ So, of course it is my fault, deep down inside πŸ˜€

  11. Ah but Sami, is she like British women and blames you for the changes (not out loud where you can refute it with common sense, but deep down inside where it shows only as the dreaded "if you don't know what you did… " and festers as a mental illness) no matter their actual source? πŸ˜‰

  12. awesome phone dude! :up: i like that, "iphone killer."Just a nice ring to it.I really need to upgrade but I probably won't have the cash on hand in time come this week 😦 .Oh.. And you wear thongs? :p

  13. Congrats on the new phone. It's pretty amazing to win such a prize. :up: Hangry – I know what that's like. Spot on, cartoon, spot on. πŸ˜›

  14. Imagine what life would be like if you were a catnip mouse. My cat has one that she's had for perhaps three years. It's covered in a sort of rope, scratching board style, so it is almost impossible to shred open, and still the cat can spend hours trying to take it apart in an efford to get out the good stuff inside. But then again, catnip mouse has its purpose in the World: to entertain the cat. In this perspective I guess we are all catnip mice.

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