Andrew Toothman, 22, was arrested after he broke into the Food World IGA in Neon, Kansas early Tuesday morning. But Andrew was no mere thief, as no money was missing from the cash registers and he hadn’t tried to pocket any of the expensive items in the shop. Indeed, Andrew didn’t have any pockets to fill at all.
Police who arrived at the scene were at first confused as they seemed to have stumbled upon a burglar with a heart. A single bottle of Nyquil cold remedy had been opened and the word “Sorry” had been daubed on the floor near the door in the liquid. Officers were then disgusted as they found a trail of what appeared to be faecal matter leading through the store. They followed the trail which lead to the manager’s office where Andrew was found, stark naked except for a pair of black boots and with peanut butter and melted chocolate smeared all over his body. This makeshift Reeces concoction had been what made up the trail in the first place.
Andrew was taken into custody and a further examination of the store was carried out by police. The front door had been broken through, and several fire extinguishers had been let off in the store in addition to the use of the Nyquil and the peanut butter and chocolate used. The current theory is that Andrew, who is being held on $25,000 bail pending a court appearance, broke in while drunk, felt some remorse and then gave into a long held desire to be a human M&M. He is being charged with burglary in the third degree, criminal mischief and two counts of indecent exposure.