At least that is what she claims in an interview with Now magazine (linked in case the miserable cunt decides she is going to sue). She says it’s all about how she needs to be doing something, which I take to mean “sleeping with a director” because she sure as hell hasn’t learned to act yet. Still, it doesn’t really matter if she ever does. People won’t hire her based on her acting skills, they’ll hire her because Twilight made her a hot topic that will sell their films to tweens more easily than another actress of more pronounced acting talents. She’s fashionable to cast for such a miserable cunt.
A similar thing happened in the world of writing recently. Fifty Shades of Grey had an unprecedented level of success (click here to read my take on that) which I’ve already spoken about and will speak of no more on the off chance that I accidentally cause another misguided person to buy such a book. Fresh off that success a lot of other novels started cashing in on the burgeoning popularity of erotic fiction. What people would turn their noses up at in magazines or on the web had suddenly become popular in a more respected format – the novel. It became fashionable (much as it is now to cast miserable and talentless cunts) to package menopausal masturbatory material in a business-like cover and make thousands from it. In fact, it became so fashionable that regular authors with well written and non-pornographic material found it hard to crack the top ten best sellers list in any country.
Enter Brian Bushwood and Justin Robert Young, internet comedians better known for their NSFW webshow. They saw the predicament that the literary world had one-handedly page-flipped itself into and saw an opportunity to make a point and a profit. A call went out over their web series for the worst examples of erotic fiction the internet could come up with. The plot didn’t have to make sense, the spelling and grammar could be all over the place and the writing talent could be non-existant, so long as there was plenty of steamy sex on every page. The internet responded and, after editing the very worst scenes and chapters together and renaming all characters so they were the same people, a single erotic fiction novel was created.
The finished novel was named The Diamond Club, given a professional looking cover along the lines of the Fifty Shades series and was released on Amazon and iBooks at a price of 99p. Despite receiving overwhelming amounts of one star reviews the book shot up the charts and was soon the number four best seller on the iTunes chart. The “authors” have gained well over twenty thousand pounds in profit from the book and have pledged to use the money to throw a party for their fans at DragonCon, the worlds largest fantasy and sci-fi convention. As for the book, well it’s still selling. Despite the bad reviews there are some who love it. This is from one of the five star reviews on Amazon.
Really stimulating! Sex scenes are great, and it’s such a great format. Reads like a personal diary, so you really get close to Brianna as a character.
It’s almost as if the fact that it cracked the top ten sellers managed to influence people into thinking it was well written when it clearly isn’t; as if being the fashionable thing somehow overrode the taste and common sense of people. Just like when people go to movies because Kristen Stewart is in them.
This isn’t the first time such a literary prank has been pulled. In the mid sixties a group of award winning authors predicted the end of great American literature. To prove their point, twenty-four of them (which seems like overkill to me) got together to write an intentionally terrible book but with lots of sex in it to prove that the American consumer preferred mindless vulgarity to literary triumph, and also to show how easily such a book could be written. The book was Naked Comes The Stranger and went on to be a best seller in 1969, when it was released. The book was such a success that a movie was made of it in 1975 and the authors were approached to write a sequel.
The miserable cunts declined.